- Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead
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- Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead - GirlsAskGuys
When I finally did get back to dating, each disappointment was significantly less tragic, because my life was so full otherwise. Your work often gives you satisfaction in a way no partner ever will. Career is one of the most incredible developments for women today. We are graduating from college in record numbers, flooding the workforce and demanding equal treatment.
It's a marvel to watch. It's also been a joy to participate in. But to exist in past relationships, I always lost sight of my career goals for a hot second. Whether it was my choice of partner or my headspace or both, I'd always let the pursuit of love slow me down. Or something like that. Getting straight-A report cards or landing big assignments were little "accomplishment" highs that helped carry me through even emotionally crummy periods of my life.
Focusing extra time on that major aspect of my life again? I realized that I've always been happier when I'm motivated, working on projects I feel are worthwhile, and intellectually expanding—something that often got lost as I grew into adulthood, felt pressure to couple along with my friends, and started dating more seriously. I'm quite sure I'll never lose sight of that truth again.
Having a stable friendship base in your life can help you make better decisions in love. One of the best decisions I made for my romantic life had nothing to do with dating prospects, and everything to do with making great adult friends. I used my relationship cleanse to really focus on surrounding myself with encouraging, vibrant, supportive, genuine human beings.
This wasn't an easy process; like romantic relationships, friendships aren't built overnight. You need to meet like-minded people, invest your time, support each other through big milestones, and eventually form lasting bonds. That said, it's one of the best decisions of my life. When I broke up with my ex, I had a dwindling college friend circle.
I had also just experienced a major "breakup" with my lifelong, childhood best friend. I suddenly woke up one day boyfriend-less and nearly friend-less, which was insanely difficult. It was also the fire I needed to start building friendships based in common interests and similar life goals, instead of simply adopting people based on proximity what we do through most of our younger years. Today, I feel there is zero chance I'll make a romantic decision out of loneliness or societal pressure; I'll only date or couple up because I truly want to , as my life is otherwise full with amazing people who support me in non-romantic ways.
And that's more than enough to tide me over until I am really excited about the potential of a maybe-relationship with someone new. Knowing yourself is incredibly important for your health. When you are in a relationship, you're integrating your life with a partner's, adopting mutual goals and routines—which is why breakups are so darn difficult. You need to disentangle your life from another person's, and decide which desires are truly your own.
Look at my biceps! Oh lord, look at all the haters, especially all the bitter women who are so upset with your decision. It's okay it's your decision and you're happy with it. Maybe one day, I'll give up too because most women won't date a guy like me and there are so many shitty people out there who don't deserve me. Giving up is learning to let go of those delusions and desires, because in the end that's what it really is. The pretty gorgeous sexy girl that you see today, well it's not always going to remain that way because people age, so it's like flowers, they are so pretty when they first bloom, but then eventually they wrinkle up and dry up, and then finally and inevitably they also die.
Same goes for people and pretty much every other living thing. Look on the bright side at least he ain't the only one here that's been single for a long time. Besides, you, me and Unit1 had all agree on one thing, and that is antinatalism, bringing life into existence into this word brings guaranteed harm and suffering to someone that never asked for it in the first place. That's the main reason why we don't agree to having any children, what is the point anymore after we had realize how bad and terrible this mess of a world is?
JudgmentDay I really admire your realism about the world. You're not delusional like how most people are. The vast majority of people are deluded and are believing illusions even despite obvious evidence. However I do have a problem with natalists if I encounter them and interact with them.
Yes, this world is a mess, it's controlled by the superior class citizens, who rule this world and make things happen at their will. And we, the middle class citizens are their puppets, we fund them with our taxes. But back to the main topic: Love is nearly extinct. Proof of it are us: Some of us simply live better being single.
Sorry but it's true, this society is screwed up now with this generation. Stepping back, a lot of women on here have little to no sympathy for this. I mean, you did nothing but drag women through the dirt and blame us for your predicament. But a lot of guys resonate with what was said, which is sad.
And not to be mean, but then I remember I'm on GaG. I know there are some really good guys on here, and I really hope you guys find your perfect person. No, You say i dragged you women through the dirt. I am brutally honest and i will tell it like it is. People don't like the cold hard truth. You haven't the spoken the truth at all: Or you just have incredibly terrible luck with women which doesn't make me a bad woman or girlfriend it just makes you unlucky.
That's what you get when men and women don't need each other anymore and sleeping around and acting like a kid your whole life is socially acceptable. I will not deny that I'm very picky when it comes to men and won't settle for someone. But that's because I am looking for someone to be with for the rest of our lives.
Because I am so picky I already know from the start of our relationship that this is a guy a I see a future with. However, after years of dating and one longer relationship I've realized that's not how other people do it. They get into relationships with no real thought of a future together.
Instead they're thinking "we'll see where it goes". They also do what you said and continue looking for something "better". And no, it's not obvious bad boys. It's very different types of guys but they have all turned out to be the same liars and cheaters. So I've also given up now. Although it's sad it's also a relief. I'm tired of dating and I'm tired making an effort and being serious when the guy is not. I'm tired of getting hurt and always wondering if I'm being lied to or cheated on again. I've realized I don't actually need a man. I have my own friends, family, money, apartment, education, career etc.
I have even started the process of having kids on my own now. I know people have different opinions of that, but honestly I don't care anymore. It's my life and I know that if I want to be a mom I will have to do it on my own since I can't find the right guy. To never have kids is not an option for me. It's what I've wanted my whole life. Family is very important to me and the only thing I really care about in life. So now that I have given up on dating, and know that I probably won't ever find Mr. Right, I don't see a reason to wait to have kids anymore, so I'm not.
I'm going to live my life and do what I want, not pause it to wait for a man that may or may not show up in the future. I guess you became Single For Life but not by choice then?
I've given up a long time ago, more than a dozen years, forget the age displayed I'm not 19 years old. I have a negative outlook on life, this world and reality altogether, but I do not blame the other gender for me being Single, and over time I just think Single For Life is the only real option left for me, since it's unlikely I'd ever find the right girl. Different people are never going to similar or the same no matter what.
I'm very deep and unhappy about the way things are in this world and reality, if you read any of my comments above, as I've already made a ton and maybe you'll understand why. Good for you for going after you want and puttign yourself first I wish you all the luck in the world on the mommy front Either find another boyfriend and move on and heal and keep hurting by not letting go of the past. There's a reason why things didn't work out and he's your ex now. Just let it go. You can put forth as many reasons as you want women get 'complimented too much', are 'too religious', etc. Nonetheless, most of the population seems to have not nearly as much issue with this not so complicated topic.
Sorry sweetpea, but it sounds like you've given up because you've decided you're better than anyone else. That no woman is 'worthy' of your narcissistic views. I get that dating is not easy for anyone but it's almost laughable as to how dramatic chiefly men online, at least will be about playing the victim card when they don't get their way with women. Says the antagonist of his argument Not all the entitled grown up Disney princesses who can do no wrong Two wrongs never make a right- eye for an eye is understandable for a preschooler to use.
If most adults were to put that into action, it'd most certainly be the end of humanity on overdrive.otnorgottmilass.tk
Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead
If I met you in rl I'd have to ask for your iD as proof that you're 42 as mentally, you've got the cognitive capacity of a pre-teen. Funny coming from a member of the sex that determines whether there will be a relationship Females are good at ending things but not good at starting things Seems like there's a lot of eye for an eye going on Tony "Females are good at ending things but not good at starting things Never had though about it.
Tony you're a perfect example of how actually getting out of the house and DOING shit equates a lot more to wisdom than biological age. At least your bitterness provides a bit of entertainment, though- I've gotta give you that. Library If he's going to be rude af to me and refer to me using certain terminology in a derogatory context, I owe him nothing.
I'm not shaming him for countering his attack. It's impressive in the saddest way possible, to say the least. Men like him are common. In the priviledge soup that you swim in, you have your boyfriend assuming and your friends with boyfriends. That's all you see, that's the norm to you. It's not a matter of zero options in priviledge soup; it's a matter of finding Mr. These men will never be delusioned by female solicitations and persistent manipulations for sex.
These men have one option to get out of their rut: If a man is systemically rejected from society and he lives every day having to face this reality, to blame him is to prove his point. To blame him is to enforce the system that rejected him. That makes you a tool. Wait to these women don't have options They'll get all kinds of sympathy from their fellow washed up carousel riders I agree with you, apart from it being complicated and that people certainly do have issues with dating.
You have no idea what the hell you're talking about. All you have to do is shake you're busted ass and the men come running. Have you ever asked anyone out? You let me know the next time your partner says you need to pay for an abortion and you have no choice in the matter. It's one thing to reject someone but it's another to ridicule and disparage those less fortunate than you.
Before they call us 'sluts' and try to shame us for having a libido. You, my dear, get an up vote. Elarra lol thanks, girl.
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It's always appreciated to hear that someone's got my back amidst all these miserable souls. It is his decision and he can live his life how he wants. Stop trying to shame him. That's coming from a guy who is happily married. Terrell I'm not shaming him, though? All I did was give my opinion which is not a personal attack. It's an opinion I'm entirely free to have and opt out of coddling.
If you look past those cherry branches obstructing your view, you'd see how much hate I got from the men in both down votes plus comments for having an opinion that doesn't agree with them. You're the same type of woman he is talking about and wanting to avoid. Bring on the downvotes. You guys can whine and wipe each other's tears together. But just because I found the love of my life doesn't mean others get that chance.
I am just trying to be sympathetic to his plight, instead of attacking him and calling bitter. Terrell yeah reality isn't fun sometimes.
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Telling someone that everything's 'okay' and that their 'special someone' will come along and find them as they sit on their ass doing nothing but whining and going on about how love is dead simply because they got rejected a couple of times which happens to everyone, myself included isn't what I'd call helpful, either. Some people just aren't meant to be in a relationship and maybe the author of this take is one of them. Better he give up than sleep around and hurt women in the process. Maybe you should actually look the word up before calling someone an ignorant fuck lest you look like one yourself.
It's associated with someone who has little ambition and doesn't pursue things in his life, sometimes to the point where he still lives with his parents. You can't get mad because you don't meet the standards of most women especially if you've already decided you've given up and just want to blame an entire gender for your own shortcomings. I don't understand why you think that just because you have a job, live on your own, and don't have kids means that women should flock to you.
Despite what you think, we do want substance, and from you described, you don't have it, thus why she called you a basement dweller. I work my fucking ass, be nice to people and what the fuck do i get? No more mister nice guy. You ever think I get tired of being shit on?
It never ceases to amaze me how firmly some people will continue to believe in their delusions about how unjust the world is to them and solely them. Always demonizing specific groups and lacking any logic, really, for the sake of ridding themselves the self-proclaimed 'victims' of any blame. Have fun cherry-picking for evidence to support your beliefs.
It won't fix shit but hey, whatever helps you sleep better at night. Um, no sir, and that arrogance is what turns women off. Elarra c'mon, the guy never said that. Read it all again. Just stop bashing on him. You're using more the comments of others than his own words It's pure arrogance to think that working and being nice means that people should be nice to you and it's immature.
Elarra His take is a bit more than that. And that was just him putting out there some frustration. Why are you all up his ass for this? Can't he be angry? Doesn't he have that right? And he's allowed to be upset, but to blame an entire gender for his shortcomings? And I'm allowed to tell him that. This KaylaS91 is just another feminist, and i'm getting tired of her putdowns.
5 Lessons I Learned from Going On a Relationship Cleanse
All the fuck we good men ask is that when we provide for you, Don't call us cucks and beta males, outright disrepect us, don't be a cheating whore who dumps you and runs off on a multi-state dick spree, then parades the men she fucked in front of you, as which recently happened to me a week ago.
But of course that won't happen, because feminism and fucking equality, right kaylaS91? I love how all I did was leave my fucking opinion and your reply is to right away dismiss it and call me 'just another feminist'. Never fails to make me laugh. If seems less like gals are generally 'awful' and more like gals don't want you so you regard them as 'awful'.
It likely happens to most people. Most heroes are male. Most speaking characters are male. Most female characters are generally ''eye-candy" or serve no to little other pursues than the heroes' sexual or romantic interest. Unsure how it's a pedestal to often have no other purpose than to fuck or date the hero It seems your issue is that super good looking gals want super good looking guys. My only issue with this Take is that you aren't really reflecting on your own actions.
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Not all women are the way you describe. Maybe you need to date within your circle? But there are women looking for love and I'm one of them. And we're in the same boat as you so please don't group us all together like that because a lot of the things you stated men are just as guilty of doing as well. Very good suggestion but I was about to try a man and it made me uncomfortable. I wish I was gay or fully bisexual.
Life would be easier for me. Going gay would make things easier. But I think it's best to just live life. If nothing works out, remove yourself from it and just enjoy everything else. People don't just turn gay. It's your biological makeup that tells you your sexual attraction unless you meant to have your statement was meant to be sarcastic. NessMess If something doesn't work out, remove yourself from that very thing and just enjoy the rest of life.
That's what I meant. NessMess I don't encourage suicide, if that's where you're getting at. If it's not your thing, don't do it. It was just a suggestion. If women don't work, try something new. Oh cry me a river. As usual you weaklings only see your own problems and from your own point of view, you never even stop to think, if maybe all men aren't that great either and maybe, just maybe, women are different from each other. They problem actually is you, maybe it's your personality, maybe it's the way you present yourself, maybe it's the kind of women you approach, I don't know, but the problem is you.
No one feels sorry for you, crying about how horrible it is to be you won't help. For a women there is always a price us men have to pay whether its money, exchange or some other form of currency she demands. I hope that makes sense for your mangina brain. Your part of the gynocentric problem mate. Mrwoo99 Clearly you did not bother reading what was stated. I was pointing out her statement was absurd. I am not stating this she stated it I was pointing out that this idea was what the problem is.
Clearly you have never read anything I have ever written on this site because no one has ever accused me of being a feminist. In fact not one person would ever suggest that. Get your head out of your ass and actually read what was written instead of acting on impulse. Read it again without your impulsive response and you will see that I was criticizing her not agreeing.
I just can't tell on here because there is so many mangina's and white knights been attacking me so am still in defence mode. Think of it it this way; your a unidentified knight approaching my castle. I rather be alone than be in a relationship with a whore. Am not a misogynist, am a truth seeker and the truth is women are mercenaries and only fuck the highest bidder. Women are naturally programmed that way. Typical irrational female response ' am a misogynist or bitter an blah blah blah'. You can't argue my facts becuase women can't fathom anything logically.
Mrwoo99 That's like if I said all men are weak-willed, spineless, sexist pussies, but luckily that only applies to a few pathetic specimens, like yourself. In all honesty, there are lots of great men out there, it's a loss to no woman that you're not on the market, we won't miss you. Cry me a river that men treat women so bad. It is filth like you that causes it. I don't really care what you do, but I'm intrigued by your definition of 'love'.
Isn't it a good thing that you no longer need to be married as soon as possible, but can actually look for love? You say that girls like confident and romantic guys because of media rather than biology. Confident is sexy, romance is alluring. You might not have either and the issue with insecurity in males is that it causes girls to dislike you which makes you even more insecure.
You should cut out of the cycle by figuring out how to be confident. Dude, you can give up on whatever you want to give up, you don't need to explain why you chose to do that to anybody especially by portrying other gender in bad colors only. If you think giving up will bring more adventages to your life than disadvantages, then do that, it's your life, and you live it. It seems like all of these failed relationships have skewed your perception of women. I get where you are coming from, and as we move forward in time, it seems that everyone, man or woman, are becoming more apathetical.
Please do not blame every single woman out there becuase you were with some shitty woman.
Not all of us are like that. Not every woman cares solely about money or looks. Love is not dead. Love is still out there if you look hard enough. I know that seems cliche but it's true. Keep looking and don't give up. Tony What if I said "all men are pigs"? You would get mad and say "Oh no not all men are like that you stupid feminists! Let me fix that for you "All man are worthless pigs and rapists" That's the narrative we've dealt with every day on every media outlet for our whole lives Tony That's not the point.
You would get mad and use the same logic against me. Actually I hate to burst your bubble but it is the point RainbowflowerGirl. I remember a time when I was in school "girls are at a disadvantage in schools because they don't get called upon in school.. The sad fact is you uttered the feminist talking point without even knowing it; it's so ingrained in our "culture" just like we live in a rape culture. It's no accident that Clinton is running against Trump. It's all according to plan. We are divided and conquered. No not all women are like that. But if he has been trying for all these years, if he is just one of many men stating the exact same thing then it can be inferred that many many women are that way.
This notion that every man just has bad luck is a bit much. Their is a culture of this with women and as long as women refuse to acknowledge this we will continue seeing this issue grow. Yes women are currently very self entitled, yes women look down on men in this society, yes women do treat men like utilities.
Is it all women? No, but is it a sizable portion of the female population? That's the problem, women don't want to admit to it and men can't force women to change so as long as women keep pretending to be ignorant of the issue we will continue to see the gender divide and animosity grow.
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I don't give it when a couple of guys reject me becuase I know that not all dudes are the same. The man in commercials is simply not allowed to win. At best, it's a draw. If she has a daughter, the daughter is usually smarter. If she has a son, he's a blithering idiot and a stinky slob. Men are only allowed to be bumbling idiots or monsters their is nothing else for us according to society.
We are not allowed to be nurturing or strong or wise or good people, we can be idiots that mean well but fail or horrible monsters that rape and murder ironic really since women are as likely to rape men as men are to rape women and women are actually more likely to abuse their spouse and children then men are. That's my point, we have a systemic problem but women refuse to acknowledge its existence let alone the part they play in it. RainbowFanGirl That response is exactly the problem. So when will women start acknowledging the problem? Women are so set on how they do no wrong that eventually men will simply stop trying to be with them.
That's what where seeing now, so why is it that we cannot admit that their is a very big problem here? But I love her she loves me. I never had sex with any other women. But I want to know her vagina size. I had a shitty relationship too, and I didn't automatically assume that it was the entire gender and started to hate everyone in it. If I did that all of you would call me a bitch and feminazi or something. We have to stop generalizing each other and start working together. I was trying to be nice to this man and sympathize with him until all of you harped on me for my wording.
I remember seeing a article forgot if a man or woman wrote it and they were saying if you have a "type" you better be the person that your type would want. Like if you pounds who hates the gym and then want a guy who into the gym. That's not going to attract him. Never said their was not shitty people.
But when a sizable population states their is a problem, when a man states how he tried everything he could for fifteen years and nothing, it seems rather absurd to simply dismiss it out right as him simply not trying hard enough or it being an isolated incident. Men everywhere are saying the same thing, we have MGTOW redpillers herbivores Japanese equivalent of MGTOW men stating that they want to learn how to be an asshole to attract women, men stating how they can't deal with women any more, marriage rates have dropped dramatically and men everywhere are stating the same problems.
And womens response is to claim their is no problem. Doesn't that sound a bit absurd to you? If the vast majority of women claimed their was an issue do you think it would be acceptable for men as a whole to dismiss it out right and say its clearly on women not men? Their are a lot of problems in our society, statistics show this, anecdotal evidence shows this.
Being positive isn't going to fix the problem, acknowledging that their is a problem is going to help fix the problem and so far no woman wishes to admit to it. They don't want to acknowledge that men are now shunning women because their afraid of what she will do whether it be destroy his reputation or have him arrested. Afraid to marry because she will divorce him because almost all divorces are initated by women and take away everything he has from his money to his children.
Women don't want to admit that their is a very big problem and as long as women keep pretending like everything is fine we are going to continue to suffer, all of us. Women need to step up need to admit that something is wrong and work with men to fix the problem, if only women are listened to then clearly we are not communicating and that's exactly what your statement was, a refusal to truly listen to what is being stated.
Yes he shouldn't give up but its also true that their is a problem. Oh hun, you are thinking wrong. Do not beat urself up. Maybe you are looking at the wrong girls, I dont know? Women in general are not that complicated But when this constantly happens to you maybe you picking these type of women? I meant there so many people who if this person is this or that they off my dating list right away. I meant hey if your not attractive your not attractive but I heard a statistic that women in America are having an issue finding guys now most girls are going to be single.
Right now I'm trying to find guys I'm attractive too but I'm trying to be reasonable. So maybe look if you doing this without knowing it? I recommend you find an Amish colony or move to an Islamic country where I guarantee you the wives will never leave or be able to leave without your full consent. Women are the worst, love is dead.
Its not because I'm a sorry ass who cry nice guy and whines constantly.
Why I'm Giving Up On Dating and Finding a Wife: Love is Dead - GirlsAskGuys
Well cool, I just don't understand why these guys always have to write these damn articles. I mean you do know that even pity party will not get you a girl. Mi2mi2a Because no one, not guys nor girls, wants to actually build a bond with someone and grow close. Not just through sex. Through experiences thick and thin. Everyone's a goddamned window shopper, ready to split at the first sign of a 'better choice', rather than working to make the love that they have now the best of their lives.
People have become property in every sense of the word in the dating game. There is no more love. Onidandal Is there some data? You know why you can"t put love in a data, because you can't quantify it. These assumptions are just that, assumptions. Want to get clear on who someone is and what they are feeling or thinking? Instead, ask them the question as to why they are doing a particular action. Their answers may surprise you. Often, we are in our heads too much. What makes you successful in your career is different than what will make you successful in a relationship.
Yes, you are rocking it at your company or in your entrepreneurial endeavors. And that is great! Relationships thrive on teamwork, compromise, more compromise, and a constant balancing between two people.
In a relationship, you are tested daily on your ability to balance your priorities with your partner. And the pendulum can swing any direction at any given moment, testing your tolerance, patient, and the strength of your relationship. Enjoy being single and use it to learn more about yourself. Leslie Jones comment was likely overstated because she commented on her Twitter feed when she mentioned that she was working out hard to stay in shape. However, she lamented as to why being that she had no one in her life who was going to benefit from the hard work.
Being single is a great time to grow, focus, and build yourself up. When you are in a relationship, things shift, and you have to make time and energy for your partner. When you are single, you have less distraction and more time for creativity. Take advantage of the time! Being in tune with you are makes you ten times more attractive and sexy and helps you to bring the right person into your life. You want someone who is complimentary vs. It was a love scene where her character figured out that she needed Tom Cruise aka Jerry McGuire in her life because she was better with him than without him.
And this is my opinion on this topic. No one can complete you. But, they can compliment you. While having someone in your life can temporarily make you feel complete, the feeling is fleeting and short-lived. You have to feel complete within yourself first. Being complete with yourself is a permanent feeling. No one should or can take away this feeling from you.